Arik Goldsmit

Arik Goldsmit

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While we are not selling Arik Goldsmit (that would be illegal), we are selling something more valuable...and that is a lifetime supply of his umpire services.

That's right! For the mere sum of 1 million dollars, Arik will work any game anywhere you need him for as long as Arik is alive.

As a bonus, Arik will join any social media page or group you have. He has the uncanny ability to seemingly post in multiple places at the same time...even while he is umpiring. Amazing!

Full disclosure of where the money goes given there are 3 parties involved: Arik, and UMPLIFE (where the sale of Arik - we mean, Arik's services - were first discussed):

  • Arik: $500,000
  • $499,985 management & transaction fee
  • Umplife: $15 referral fee

Helmet in the photo is NOT included!

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Official Reviews




February 25, 2020
Arik is a world class tire kicker that takes weeks to make a purchase. Any solid dealer would love to have Arik stop by and kick every tire in stock while being serious about everything tires. The procrastination would simply amuse us anxiously waiting for the type of tires he was going to order. This of course would only happen if Mrs G gave her approval. I am generally happy with his giff postings that make me laugh sometimes. Overall the product may interest a few buyers.

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